brunobaby

-Because when I start talking about current events with my friends, my liberal friends start foaming at the mouth and barking "Bush! Bush!" like rabid pit bulls, and then my conservative friends go "Haw! Haw! Haw! You're just sore cause your guy lost!" and then they start doing Sumo mud wrestling and I keep talking to myself like a street wack.

-Because when I start talking about current events with my husband, I'll say "When the right wing blames the cultural elite for everything it reminds me of when I was dating this guy whose room was full of back issues of 'Soldier of Fortune' and he used to tell me..." and then from my husband's reaction I will see that I'm no longer talking about how to make America better, I'm talking about some guy I used to have sex with.

-Because when I talk, everybody mocks me by repeating what I say in a little nasal voice. Okay, not everybody, it was just this one guy and he was drunk and real mean.

-To write about my cats. I have the best cats in the world. Even if you don't like cats, you'll love my cats. You'll see. Yeah. Cats.

-To write about life here in New York City, so people from all over the world can read it the way they watch "Sex And The City" and they can say either "Gee, I wish I was there living that glamorous life like those girls" or "Gee, I'm glad I'm not there living like those crazy mixed-up sluts."

-To write about things that move me in some way, because maybe I'm not mental and they move you as well.

I'll be incorporating this blog into my new, improved home page when it's ready. Which is kind of like setting your desk down in the middle of a big field and building a house around yourself.