Monday, March 31, 2008
"I've Been Tagged For A Meme"
This one is from Ms. Judy. The rules are:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules here
3. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag 7 random people at the end of the post, linking to them.
5. Leave a comment on their blog so that they know they’ve been tagged.
Seven random facts about me:
- I worked as a waitress at the Howard Johnson's in Times Square for a month after I graduated college, because I'd been told actresses had to wait tables.
- I did Wang word processing in 1983, made good money and had to endure jokes about being "a Wang operator."
- I studied the guitar for two years and can still pick out a C chord
- My first pet when I was a kid was a parakeet named Aloysius
- My middle name is Ellen
- My favorite food is Mintz's Blintzes from Trader Joe's
- I've lived in my apartment for 30 years. It's a rental.
Okay, now I'm supposed to tag seven people, except almost none of the people I could possibly tag have blogs. However, they've all sent me e-mails that I have yet to answer with headings like "Three Facts About Me" "Things You Didn't Know About Me" and "Drive Your Girlfriend Wild With Extra Inches." Oh wait, that last one was something else.
I'm going to tag Ambivablog. Oh look, she just invented another meme.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Caught In The Act
Thursday, March 27, 2008
"The alarm clock that runs away and hides to get you out of bed. Clocky gives you one chance to get up. But if you snooze, Clocky will jump off your nightstand and wheel around your room looking for a place to hide, beeping all the while. You'll have to get out of bed to silence his alarm."
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
I Am A Human Being!...with a cold.
I've been going to work every day and functioning at about 80%, but I look and sound like Elmer Fudd.
"Hewwow?...I have to hang up now. I'm vewwy vewwy tired."
By now, I've given up on being amazed that I've caught every virus circulating in the tri-state area and I'm just waiting for this nonsense to pass.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Another Fifth Beatle Bites the Dust
Monday, March 24, 2008
This Sounds Like A Joke, But It's Not
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
The Only Thing You Need To Know About The Credit Crisis
Monday, March 17, 2008
"You'll Have the Results in a Couple of Days"
Friday, March 14, 2008
"Is this Melinda Bruno?"
"You were in here for a mammogram on Tuesday?"
"There is a tiny area..."
Long story short, I have to come back for a spot compression on Monday morning. This takes a close-up of the tiny area to get a better idea of what it is.
"We wanted to let you know on Friday so that you wouldn't worry this weekend."
Oh yeah, I'm not worried at all now.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Return of Waiting
So every time I come back from the ladies' room I creep up on my desk holding my breath until I see whether or not there's a message light on my phone. And if there's a message light, I keep holding my breath until I retreive the message. I'm getting good at holding my breath. They tell you to hold your breath while the mammogram machine is taking the ex-ray. I remained as motionless as a statue, lest a blur on the film obscure something that could kill me.
Then I figured, maybe they don't know I'm in my office and they called my house. "No new messages," the machine said. Relieved, I went out for a walk at lunchtime. I justified a new handbag, a copy of Mojo Classic's "Summer of Love" special, and a bag of candy. I deserve this, to make up for the pain of waiting, I tell myself. Followed by telling myself, "Oh, if I have to get surgery, chemo and radiation I may lose time from work, so I'd better not buy anything."
This is a familiar feeling, this waiting. After Jim died, people were asking me, "How did you function through all that, and through all your own scares?" I functioned through a List of Things To Do. I multi-tasked, to show the anxiety I was stronger than it was. And I figured, whether the news is good or bad, at least I have all these things done.
It's time to go wax the Pentagon.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So, what if you were a Three Diamond ho? Would you be jealous of the Seven Diamond ho? Would you go to the Madam and ask for more challenging assignments?
Bruno Watches "Bruno"
I didn’t get very much sleep last night, partly because of restlessness about the mammogram. Also, I started watching the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony and I wanted to see the Dave Clark Five, which is now the Dave Clark Three. I’d been looking forward to seeing Mike Smith to see if he’d recovered from being paralyzed for life, but to my dismay, the other Dave Clark Five guys said that he’d passed away just a few days ago. Jim would have been very sad to have heard that.
Then at midnight I turned off the TV and started reading more “The Kite Runner” and I was starting to get sciatica pains, badly. But I had to see how the next part turned out and the next part and then when I went to lie down the nerve pain hurt too badly to breathe. My first line of defense is Capsaicin crème, a generic brand from the 99 cent store. But that did nothing, and I resorted to the nuclear option, half a Percoset.
This usually takes about a half-hour to work, so I got up and turned the TV back on and stood in front of it channel-surfing. I found a quirky little movie called Bruno on the Long Island station, about this cross-dressing whiz kid and his butch grandmother, Shirley MacLaine. I couldn’t sit and got tired of standing, so I lay down on my exercise mat in front of the TV.
At one point I’d thought I saw Brett Butler in a nun’s habit and figured I was hallucinating. But I checked out Internet Movie Data Base just now and it was her.
The sleep was good, but too short. And now I’m scared of the mammogram.
Friday, March 07, 2008
The Easter Bunny on Acid
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Does Novocain Make Your Whole Body Tired?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
My New York Age is 32
What's your New York Age?