Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm Around

Around 5'5", 5'6".

I'm getting ready for a week of fun in the sun, and wrapping up some projects here at work. I've been getting used to the new floor and the new cube, and no longer feel as if somebody blindfolded me and spun me around.

Administrative Services greeted us on Monday morning with a platter of donuts and some broken file cabinets. The broken file cabinets are being replaced. The donuts, I've been eating too much of lately, so I was a bit apprehensive about seeing my endocrinologist this morning. But apparently the little pills I've been taking with my meals have been doing what they ought to.

She did give me a scare when she examined my thyroid.

"Look up...Swallow...Wait a minute, swallow again...Shaneequa, is the Sonogram Room available?"

"Uhhhh, sonograms aren't just for cancer, are they?"

"Don't worry."

What it turned out to be is a benign nodule, very common and it doesn't need any treatments, just scanning every year.

A quick vein poke to test my blood for cholesterol and I was through. I'll find out the results of that tomorrow. And of course, whenever there's a piece of me being taken and results to wait for, I'm afraid they're going to find something incurable and terminal.

A few years ago I would have dismissed this worry as hypochondriachal, but after you've heard a doctor tell your spouse, "You have a tumor in your brain..." you enter a world where anything is possible and henceforth, when you go to the barber, you will worry that you have developed cancer of the hair.

No matter what the results, I need a break.

God, me too. And I'm finding that as the break actually approaches, I'm becoming deeply exhausted in anticipation. Am I being melodramatic? Or is the prospect of brief relief allowing me to notice how exhausted I really am/
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