Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Vacillating Over Oprah's Bra
Not Oprah's actual bra...I didn't sneak into her mansion, plunder her possessions and abscond with her lingerie. I mean the Le Mystere Renaissance bra, which Oprah endorsed heartily in her magazine and which receives prominent mention in Charla Krupp's forthcoming book, How Not to Look Old: Fast and Effortless Ways to Look 10 Years Younger, 10 Pounds Lighter, 10 Times Better*. It retails for about seventy bucks in Macy's, where I tried it on today.
I found the Le Mystere to be uplifting, supportive and empowering, just like Oprah. I also found it to be so damn tight it felt as if I were being strangled by a boa constrictor.
The Bra Fitting Lady was in attendance, standing outside my fitting room with a variety of different sizes. "Zat one fits you perfectly!" But it's common knowledge that Bra Fitting Ladies hitch 'em higher and tighter than Scarlett O'Hara's at the barbeque, which has nothing to do with how most real women wear their foundation garments.
So as flattering as the Le Mystere is, it's my conclusion that Oprah must do most of the serious thinking needed to run her vast empire when she gets home, puts her feet up and takes off her brassiere.
*Assuming that each thing you do takes ten years off your age and you're fifty and you do four things, does that make you ten?
